How to Listen To Your Inner Grinch To Escape Its Power
It's OK to get annoyed during tough times, but notice what's beneath to set yourself free
The festive season is heartwarming, but I’ve always had a soft spot for the Grinch.
Maybe it’s because I don’t celebrate Christmas but enjoy the traditions around it. I’m an observer, watching from the other side of the glass like a curious alien.
Or maybe it’s because, deep down, I see a bit of myself in him.
Take this week, for instance. I’m currently in week three of viral and bacterial recovery, and frankly, I’m annoyed.
My body feels like it’s failed me this year, and I’m not the only one who’s picked up on it.
You know is an issue when others notice
I restarted the day job this week, dragging my achy, husky-voiced self back to working from home, even though I’m not fully recovered.
A colleague, well-meaning but blunt, commented on how sick I’ve been in 2024.
From a bad flu at the start of the year to a GI infection that dragged through summer, to this December flu-and-ear-infection wipeout - it’s hard to disagree.
I’ve limped along enough to meet Christmas deadlines, but at what cost? My recovery has slowed, and I’m irritated - not just by the lingering illness but by my own pattern of ignoring what my body needs.
If you’re prone to external pressures or guilt at putting yourself first, you know this story.
The problem is, the irritation I feel isn’t just directed outward. It’s also aimed squarely at myself to the point I'm questioning my life choices.
And that’s where my Inner Grinch comes in.
The Inner Grinch and the critic within
You know the voice. It appears when you’re at your lowest, sneering from the sidelines:
“Really? Another sick day? Why can’t you get it together?”
Or, “Why are you so weak? If you just pushed harder, you’d be fine by now.”
This is the Inner Grinch - the self-critical part of us that lashes out when we feel vulnerable, out of control, or unworthy.
It’s not a pleasant voice, and most of us spend a lot of energy trying to drown it out.
But what if, instead of silencing it, we listened?
Perhaps we could learn some harsh but valuable truths to adjust our actions in a healthier way.
Why the Inner Grinch shows up
The irony is I've not felt as stressed this year as previously, but have likely overworked and run myself ragged.
Oof why do I have to be so achievement-driven though…? Hmm long story…
If I combine time spent on day job and coaching business work each week, I've likely not rested enough. This is the downside of building a side hustle on top of a hectic day job.
For every “I'm making £10k per month after 38 days” story, the rest of us are figuring out how to be an effective solopreneur without repeating our employee mindset mistakes.
It's not always as easy as the gurus make out if you want to create work that truly aligns.
The pressure to succeed in all things is real if you're built a certain way i.e. an ambitious achiever. We must stay alert to our unhelpful patterns at all times.
From a neuroscience perspective, the Grinchy voice is part of your brain’s predictive model.
Your brain is wired to interpret experiences based on past patterns and context to anticipate future outcomes.
When things go wrong - like getting sick again despite taking care of yourself (or believing you are) - it disrupts your brain’s expectations.
That inner voice is your brain’s attempt to regain control and get your attention, albeit in a clumsy, self-critical way.
We're wired for negative bias so you're more likely to listen to a threat than a high-five.
It’s trying to make sense of the gap between “what should be” versus “what is.”
But here’s the twist: beneath the criticism lies something important - a signal about what you value and need.
What the Inner Grinch really wants
Think of the Grinch in How the Grinch Stole Christmas. His sabotage isn’t random. It’s driven by a deep longing for connection and belonging, even though he doesn’t recognise it.
He's afraid of being vulnerable and rejected - to be unworthy and unlovable - so he gets grumpy and poo-poohs everyone else first.
Your Inner Grinch operates the same way. When it criticises you for being sick or dropping the ball, it’s likely pointing to something deeper:
Unmet needs: For rest, validation, or reassurance.
Core values being challenged: Like the desire to be dependable, successful, or in control.
Fear: Of being judged, falling behind, or not being enough as you are.
When you’re stuck in a cycle of guilt, exhaustion, and frustration, the Inner Grinch’s voice gets louder.
But instead of fighting it, use it as a guide. Dig deeper into what your unconscious is trying to get you to pay attention to.
3 steps to befriend your Inner Grinch
I've struggled with painful emotions this month. Lots of self-inquiry and wondering what I could, should, and would have done differently.
Regrets only get us so far though.
At some point, we need to explore what our Grinchy voice is really saying because we aren't learning the right lessons.
Here's what I'm doing instead:
Listen to the critical voice without judgment
Instead of shutting it down, ask: “What are you really trying to tell me?”
If the voice says, “You’re weak,” consider: Is it actually saying, “I feel scared because we’re not as strong as we used to be”?
If it says, “You’re lazy,” ask if it’s pointing to fear of losing control or identity as someone reliable.
Reframe the criticism
Once you identify the underlying fear or need, reframe the Inner Grinch’s message.
Original: “You’re letting everyone down by resting and recovering for so long.”
Reframe: “You care deeply about doing a good job, but you need to recover so you can show up fully later.”
Take action with compassion
Meet the need the Inner Grinch points to.
Maybe it’s setting clearer boundaries with work or giving yourself permission to slow down or do just enough (perfectionists take note!)
Taking conscious action silences the Inner Grinch because you’ve addressed its concerns with curiosity.
If things still don't feel right, it's OK. You won't solve every issue at the first try.
Get curious, reflect and go back to step 1 to tweak your next attempt.
Key takeaways
Here’s the thing: the Inner Grinch isn’t your enemy. It’s just a messy, awkward part of you trying to keep you safe in its own misguided way.
To update your brain's predictions, take new intentional actions to shift your mindset and habits.
When you stop fighting it and start listening, you uncover what really matters to you - your values, needs, identity, and boundaries.
Instead of being a critic, the Inner Grinch becomes a guide, helping you reconnect with yourself in this moment.
So this festive season, take a moment to pause and check in with your Inner Grinch.
Ask it what it really wants and give yourself the space to meet that need.
Reflection prompt:
What is your Inner Grinch saying right now?
Write down its most common criticisms and explore the fears or needs behind them.
What compassionate action can you take today to meet those needs?
When you set your Inner Grinch free and notice what it's trying to say, you set yourself free, too.
Stop ignoring what matters to you in 2025.
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Thank you for offering the inner grinch as a framework. I practice Internal Family Systems (IFS) with myself and I am going to reframe one of my inner critic parts as the inner grinch and think this will really help me be more compassionate and supportive to this part because the grinch is so lovable!! Thank you 🙏🏻
The way you described your body feeling like it 'failed' you this year really struck a chord with me. It's so easy to view our bodies as machines that are supposed to function perfectly all the time. But our bodies are wise and they communicate with us constantly. Maybe illness is our body's way of saying, 'Slow down, listen, and give me what I need.' It's a message I'm trying to learn to hear more clearly.