I'm glad that you have some answers to questions about your body and symptoms of functioning below an outdated par of excellence. I've also been navigating a similar albeit injury-induced path.
This resonated with so much of life, chronic conditions aside.
I have a curiosity about a phrase from this piece and I'm wondering if you would be willing to elaborate?
"Building in decision buffers so I don’t over-commit just to please."
The words decisions buffers bring a lot of thoughts up for me that don't seem to be landing in a comprehensive way. The idea sounds great but I'm not feeling certain that I know what you mean.
This has such clarity in it. Thank you.
Really appreciate that Ginny. Hope you find something to apply in your every day too.
I'm glad that you have some answers to questions about your body and symptoms of functioning below an outdated par of excellence. I've also been navigating a similar albeit injury-induced path.
This resonated with so much of life, chronic conditions aside.
I have a curiosity about a phrase from this piece and I'm wondering if you would be willing to elaborate?
"Building in decision buffers so I don’t over-commit just to please."
The words decisions buffers bring a lot of thoughts up for me that don't seem to be landing in a comprehensive way. The idea sounds great but I'm not feeling certain that I know what you mean.
Great article on building real resilience! 💜
Thanks for your comment and question Emily. Sorry to hear you've had to manage health issues too. It's not easy at times.
So decision buffers are little spaces I build in before saying yes to anything, eg a meeting, a favour, or other response.
Instead of replying on autopilot, I give myself a default pause like:
'Let me check my energy that week and get back to you.' or 'I’ll sleep on it and confirm tomorrow.'
It gives me a breathing space to validate how I feel and what I can realistically commit to, whilst being open with the other person where possible.
Hope that helps but feel free to ask further or share any examples you're considering.
Ah, yes, that makes sense! I had a running assumptive story about myself that when I did/ do these things I'm being non-committal.
I've since rewired the narrative around that, and I like your description 'decision buffers'; it's lovely to have a name for this grace-saving tactic!
I certainly use "fuckery buffers" in my schedule every day, haha.
Awesome! And not being non-committal, just gathering data for a better decision.
OMG 'fuckery buffers' is amazing. Love this description lol!
Such a beautiful message! This is something every midlifer should read. Best of luck with your diagnosis and getting further answers. I wish you well.
Thanks for your kind words Shelby.
It's a weird time but good to get some answers at last!
Hope you're doing well.