Support Guide: Restructure Support When You Can't Do It Alone
March Guide - 2 tools to build a better brain and support yourself through tough times
Support is a loaded word.
We all need it.
Most of us don’t ask for it.
And, we often don’t recognise when we need it.
So when we do, it’s usually after things have already gone sideways (or t*ts up as us Brits would say).
I used to think support only meant having the right people around AND available.
But what I’ve learned, especially through navigating grief, burnout, identity shifts and rebuilding - is that support comes in many forms.
And the ones that matter most?
They often don’t look how you expect.
Why support isn’t just people
People are great (mostly) and healthy relationships should be valued.
But support is also:
a system
a rhythm
a note on your fridge
a question you ask yourself when things get noisy or messy
a feeling of safety you rebuild, piece by piece
When we rely solely on other people to regulate and influence us, we create a fragile system.
We absolutely need others to co-regulate, be of service, and feel belonging.
But only relying on others as external validation doesn’t build a robust-enough safety net through everyday life and the challenges we face.
So, when we incorporate other cues that help us feel safe, capable, and resourced, that’s when support becomes sustainable.
This month’s tools were designed to help you explore both sides of support:
the practical and the emotional, the visible and the invisible.
What you’ll get in this guide
1. Support Map - Build Your Resilient World
This worksheet helps you:
Identify what kinds of support you actually need
Map out existing support (internal and external)
Spot gaps or over-reliance on certain sources (like one friend, food, or caffeine)
Create a practical set up that supports your energy, goals, and capacity
This is designed for clarity, not guilt (none of that, thanks).
It includes internal, practical, emotional, relational, and environmental domains.
The great thing is it works whether you're in crisis or coasting.
Navigating and sailing through choppy waters without getting too wet, hitting the rocks, or ending up in rip tides is what we’re aiming for here.
No-one does this perfectly, so don’t expect to.
2. Support Prompts – Journaling To Make Sense Of Stuff
This isn’t about journaling to “fix yourself.”
It’s about making sense of what helps and what hurts.
The prompts help you:
Reflect on support patterns that don’t serve you anymore
Understand why asking for help might feel like a threat
Notice how you’ve supported yourself without even realising it
Gently widen your window of tolerance for receiving support
Optional add-on: “The Scarcity Trap” reflection explores how past survival states can distort how we view receiving help, even when it’s available.
This one is ideal for anyone who's heard themselves say “I don’t want to be a burden” more than once.
You don’t need a support circle that looks perfect.
You don’t need to be endlessly positive, emotionally open, or forever self-reliant.
You just need a system that doesn’t collapse when you do.
These tools are designed to help you build that.
And not just for when things fall apart, but so you can keep showing up for what matters without burning out in the process.
Let’s dive in…