The Connections That Heal Us
We're hardwired for connection and need it even more when we're unwell
I lost my voice, have partial hearing and a bag of nails has taken up residence in my lungs.
I've been bed-ridden with flu this week so a quick post today.
Being so sick reminded me how much we rely on connection, even when we’re physically unwell.
The irony is I likely got sick at our office Christmas Party - the downside of physical interactions!
But neuroscience shows connection is hardwired into our biology - we're built for it. When we experience care or compassion from others, our brain releases oxytocin.
It's made in the hypothalamus and released into the bloodstream by the pituitary gland where it has various physiological effects.
Sometimes known as the the “bonding hormone”, oxytocin doesn’t just make us feel good, it also lowers cortisol, the stress mobilisation hormone, calming the body and promoting recovery.
It also supports anti-inflammatory effects to improve physical healing.
The messages I got from loved ones checking in on me weren't just nice, small moments of connection - they were essential to my recovery.
Small gestures have a big impact
When you’re unwell, it's hard to reach out for support, but connection doesn’t have to be complicated.
A simple text, a warm bowl of soup from a loved one, or even a smile from a stranger can activate the brain’s reward system, reminding you that you’re not alone.
I'll admit I've found the past few days especially tough, as the pain seemed never ending. Breathing is still difficult.
I also noticed my anxious thoughts go through the roof, making it harder to settle when I was unable to get out of bed.
So these small gestures from others made a difference. They signalled to my nervous system that it’s safe to prioritise recovery over stress.
Science shows even the briefest moments of kindness can have a profound impact on our mental and physical resilience - for both the giver and receiver of the kind act.
And to rest well and recover, we need to feel safe.
Leaning into connection
This week made me reflect on how to intentionally nurture connection in our lives, even when it seems hard.
Who in your circle makes you feel seen and cared for? And how often do you let them know they matter?
On the flip side, who might be feeling isolated or in need of a little extra support right now? Reaching out to others doesn’t just help them - it strengthens your own brain’s pathways for empathy and resilience.
This has a ripple effect on how you interact with others and how you view yourself over time. It's a great way to quieten your inner critic.
Connection isn’t just emotional - it’s a biological need that helps us become stronger together.
Key takeaways
Connection to others doesn't have to be overcomplicated, especially in the digital world.
A text, gif, joke meme or link to a post shows you care for someone and are thinking of them.
Remember:
Connection lowers stress: Oxytocin reduces cortisol, calming the body and supporting healing.
Small gestures matter: Even brief moments of kindness activate the brain’s reward system so you feel better.
Give and receive support: Nurturing connection benefits both you and the people you care about.
Reach out to someone you haven't heard from in a while. It might be just what you both need during this festive season.
How do you cheer up your sick friends and loved ones? Share in the comments.
"The messages I got from loved ones checking in on me weren't just nice, small moments of connection - they were essential to my recovery." This line really hit home for me. It's a beautiful reminder that sometimes the smallest gestures can have the biggest impact. It's easy to underestimate the power of a simple text or a kind word, but these acts of connection can truly make a world of difference, especially when we're feeling vulnerable.