6 Reasons You Still Feel Like A Fraud - Despite All Your Success

It's not low self-esteem. It's your brain still bracing for rejection it no longer needs and autopilot patterns you need to interrupt.

Photo by Claudia Ramírez on Unsplash

No matter how capable or accomplished I am, there’s still that voice that pops up: “You don’t belong here. You’ll be found out.”

Classic imposter syndrome.

Also, bl**dy annoying.

It doesn’t hit me like it did in my 20s and 30s but still kicks in when I’m doing something new, something hard, or something that actually matters.

Sometimes it’s just background noise.

Other times, it gets louder the better things go.

Last week I talked about how imposter syndrome isn’t just some personal flaw to mindset your way out of.

It’s often a learned response to places, especially competitive or non-collaborative ones, where it hasn’t felt safe to be visible, imperfect, or fully seen.

This week, I’m going deeper.

To explore the predictable patterns beneath it.

There are six characteristics that show up repeatedly in people who look like they’ve got it all together but feel like they’re winging it behind the scenes.

Once you name what’s showing up for you, you can stop letting it run the show.

You don’t need to “believe in yourself” more.

You need to interrupt the loop and lead yourself through it with clarity, not chaos.

The inner gremlin whispering unsweet nothings into your ear? Still alive and well

I still squirm at compliments.

I want the recognition. But when it comes, I either want the ground to swallow me up, or I crack a Chandler-style joke to deflect the discomfort.

That’s the paradox.

High performers crave validation but can’t absorb it.

Despite the success and experience, the self-doubt persists.

Men and women, across roles, sectors, and industries – it’s everywhere.

Yet our brains push back against reality.

Those niggly, negative, and self-critical internal whispers get louder.

Bracing for rejection that won’t come or inventing it just to feel prepared.

It’s like we’re stuck proving ourselves against an unreasonable, moving target.

A standard no one set but us.

We wonder if we’ve really earned the seat we’re sitting in.

Thanks, brain!

But it’s not just uncomfortable. It has real-world costs.

Crushing our time, energy, and momentum.

It sabotages our progress - the missed opportunities, chronic over-functioning, and chasing after an invisible standard that never quite arrives.

The brain loop never feels satisfied.

We pour so much effort into trying to feel better, just often in all the wrong places.

What we need instead is a way to spot the pattern, make sense of it, and shift how we respond.

The six characteristics keeping you stuck in imposter (or fraud) mode

Huecker at al. (2022) identified six core characteristics of imposter syndrome (or phenomenon), and these patterns show up repeatedly in smart, competent, high-performing people.

So no, it’s not about being weak.

It’s about recognising the survival strategies your brain learned to run on autopilot.

These often develop to protect us.

But now they’re keeping you stuck.

Here’s a summary. Notice which ones hit close to home:

1. The imposter cycle

This one kicks in any time you’re faced with a task, challenge, or responsibility.

And if you’re achievement-driven, as most high performers are, it’s easy to get caught in the pattern of over-preparing or procrastinating until the last minute.

Even when you get the thing done, the satisfaction doesn’t land.

You don’t internalise the success.

You feel a brief high… then doubt creeps back in.

You don’t feel it. You don’t believe it.

So, the cycle repeats.

More pressure, more stress, more chasing.

It feels relentless and like a hamster wheel you can’t escape.

2. Perfectionism

If you’re not exceptional, it doesn’t count.

Being average feels like failure. Ick.

These patterns are often shaped by early experiences of conditional worth, when achievement equalled acceptance, safety, or love.

Even if your standards are unattainable or unrealistic, you’ll chuck everything you’ve got to reach them.

Even if it means you barely sleep, eat rubbish, and ditch your important relationships to do it.

You self-sacrifice for the bigger picture. The greater good.

But if you make a mistake?

Oof, it gets blown out of proportion in your mind.

You don’t let it go.

You shame-spiral, overanalyse, and punish yourself for being human.

The guilt and shame fuel even more perfectionism.

And the loop continues.

3. Super-heroism

Closely linked to both perfectionism and the imposter cycle, this one’s all about overcompensating through relentless effort.

You say yes even when you’re drowning.

Overwork becomes a form of control and offers false safety.

You prep endlessly to avoid getting caught out.

Because stopping? Delegating? Admitting you don’t know something?

That feels too risky. No thanks.

So, you keep pushing.

So what if you were up until 1am propped up by caffeine and desperate hope, right?

It’s only the third night this week…better you than someone else…

Even if delegating would help.

Even if nobody asked you to carry it all alone.

Even if your body’s screaming for rest.

Because deep down, you’re terrified of letting anyone down.

Or being seen as anything less than fully competent.

4. Fear of failure

I see this one constantly - in myself and my clients.

We organise our experiences to avoid failure.

Not just the external kind, but internal too:

• That gym routine you keep restarting.

• The healthy eating habits you promise you’ll stick to this time.

• The email you double and triple check.

• The presentation you’re still editing at midnight.

It’s all driven by this primal threat:

That being “found out” would confirm your worst fear, that you never belonged here in the first place.

It’s not just about performance.

It’s about identity and worth.

The fear isn’t rational, but it is real.

5. Denial of competence / discounting praise

This one links to perfectionism and is often influenced by culture.

Even when you get good feedback, you discount your skills, abilities, intellect, and natural capabilities.

They’re just being nice. I should be humble.

You shrug, deflect, joke it off.

Even if it’s a natural talent you find easy, you dismiss it.

You assume because it’s basic or obvious, anyone can do it.

How could it be special if it’s easy to you?

But you internalise failure and believe success is a fluke, luck, or someone else’s contribution.

Your self-criticism is so strong that praise jars with your inner story and identity.

6. Fear and guilt about success

This one is less talked about than fear of failure, but still common.

I’ve felt it myself. That hesitation to let myself succeed; in case it changes things.

In case it costs me something.

Because what happens when you do well?

The bar moves up.

Expectations rise.

And you’re already bl**dy exhausted.

Your nervous system clocks this potential effort uplift needed to maintain success and pulls away to conserve energy.

It also drives identity conflict or emotional flatness when you are successful.

It all feels alien or undeserved.

You don’t trust it or know what to do with it.

And you might even sabotage before it has a chance to land to avoid this uncertainty.

Do this: Interrupt the Feeling-A-Fraud Pattern

If you spotted one (or several) of the six patterns above, you’re truly not alone.

You don’t have to stay stuck in these unhelpful loops forever, even if they feel automatic.

You can interrupt them.

A small, strategic shift is a great start.

Start by picking one that resonated and try the ideas below.

You can also draw on what’s worked for you before.

Treat it like an experiment, and be a curious scientist:

1. The imposter cycle

   1. Notice when you’re overworking or delaying something that doesn’t need it.

   2. Timebox the task and add an external accountability check (a friend, mentor, or manager).

   3. Reflect afterwards: how did it feel to complete it without the usual stress or over-effort?

2. Perfectionism

   1. Ask: whose voice is this standard trying to please? Remind yourself: thoughts aren’t facts.

   2. Define what good enough looks like, not ideal, just done well enough. Aim for that.

   3. Anchor back to the real impact, not how it looks to others, but what actually matters.

3. Super-heroism

   1. Pause and ask: what do I fear will happen if I slow down or step away?

   2. Check how realistic those fears are. Prioritise ruthlessly to focus on what actually needs you?

   3. Cap the time or energy you’ll spend. Notice how your body feels when you don’t over-function.

4. Fear of failure

   1. Notice the fearful thoughts hijacking your focus and calm.

   2. Ask: what’s the actual consequence here? Reframe failure as feedback or data.

   3. Journal lessons you’ve learned from past missteps. Share it with someone to normalise.

5. Denial of competence / discounting praise

   1. Notice how freely you give praise to others, then remind yourself it’s a mutual human need.

   2. Practise saying “thank you” when you’re complimented. No deflecting, no cringing, no disclaimers.

   3. Keep a praise log. Review it weekly to build internal evidence that sticks and gives you a boost.

6. Fear and guilt about success

   1. Ask: what am I afraid success will cost me. More work? Distance from others?

   2. Acknowledge the origin of that fear. Whose expectations are you carrying?

   3. Journal what success on your own terms looks like, and what you’re allowed to release to claim it.

Now, these aren’t magic solutions. But they are interruptions.

Gentle, repeatable shifts to lean on when the autopilot patterns kick in.

Remember, you don’t need to feel different before you act.

Momentum comes from movement versus motivation.

Use a small, grounded way to do things differently and let the feeling follow.

Key takeaways

You don’t feel like a fraud because you lack skill, success, or discipline.

You feel like a fraud because your brain is running an outdated prediction loop.

These six characteristics aren’t personality flaws.

They’re survival strategies on autopilot:

1. The imposter cycle

2. Perfectionism

3. Super-heroism

4. Fear of failure

5. Denial of competence / discounting praise

6. Fear and guilt about success

They’re common. They’re well-researched. And best of all, they’re interruptible.

Start by naming what’s showing up. Awareness creates distance.

Then reconnect to what matters – not the story your brain spins, but your core values and the person you want to be.

Contain the pattern and experiment with a deliberate shift to how you respond.

You don’t need to fake confidence to stop feeling like a fraud.

You need a better pattern.

So, build it on your own terms.

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P.S. Which pattern(s) resonate with you and why? Share any tips you’ve used to challenge imposter syndrome and these patterns.