So appreciate your deep thoughts and shares Cassie. You've had a lot to contend with. And we all process things so differently. It ebbs and flows for sure.
Such a good point here - grieving the person you were.
This is not easy to explore or accept at times when you're still battling the drivers of it on many fronts.
Perhaps a creative exploration of the many faces of grief you're trying to get through would be a curious way to see it all.
The art-journalling has helped me notice and feel things I didn't realise were there.
I'm going to explore the different loss and grief categories soon too. Things like anticipatory grief or ambiguous loss.
These put us in this state of limbo. Your Venn diagram description was so vivid to me - a foot in many camps, space and time.
Sending hugs to help you unpick things, but you're doing better than it feels hun 🥰💜
This was super helpful, as always. It's funny because as much joy as I get from my work and creative practices and as much rest as I get, I still feel the middle of the Venn diagram viscerally. Thanks to reading your words I realised I'm still just worn out.
I can't gloss over years of long-distance caregiving and anticipatory grief, and I can't just "bounce back", no matter how much I can fill my cup in other ways. It's quite frustrating, to be honest, and I often find myself grieving the person I was before, or wishing I could fast-forward to the end instead of watching this Alzheimer’s journey play out like a car crash in slow motion.
I hate that it feels like it always has to get worse before it gets better. I hate that it impacts every aspect of my business and life and I can't separate from it. But I also can't keep fighting it, either. Oof.
What a realisation. Your words are a balm for the soul and I'm very grateful, even when it's tough to see it. Thank you, as always 💜
So appreciate your deep thoughts and shares Cassie. You've had a lot to contend with. And we all process things so differently. It ebbs and flows for sure.
Such a good point here - grieving the person you were.
This is not easy to explore or accept at times when you're still battling the drivers of it on many fronts.
Perhaps a creative exploration of the many faces of grief you're trying to get through would be a curious way to see it all.
The art-journalling has helped me notice and feel things I didn't realise were there.
I'm going to explore the different loss and grief categories soon too. Things like anticipatory grief or ambiguous loss.
These put us in this state of limbo. Your Venn diagram description was so vivid to me - a foot in many camps, space and time.
Sending hugs to help you unpick things, but you're doing better than it feels hun 🥰💜
This was super helpful, as always. It's funny because as much joy as I get from my work and creative practices and as much rest as I get, I still feel the middle of the Venn diagram viscerally. Thanks to reading your words I realised I'm still just worn out.
I can't gloss over years of long-distance caregiving and anticipatory grief, and I can't just "bounce back", no matter how much I can fill my cup in other ways. It's quite frustrating, to be honest, and I often find myself grieving the person I was before, or wishing I could fast-forward to the end instead of watching this Alzheimer’s journey play out like a car crash in slow motion.
I hate that it feels like it always has to get worse before it gets better. I hate that it impacts every aspect of my business and life and I can't separate from it. But I also can't keep fighting it, either. Oof.
What a realisation. Your words are a balm for the soul and I'm very grateful, even when it's tough to see it. Thank you, as always 💜