32 Comments

I really struggle with switching off. Always have. I’m more aware of it now. Hopefully, it helps me on my journey to let go and not be doing something every second. Thank you for shedding light on it, Sabrina!

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Thank you Sabrina!

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I'm sorry you find this a struggle too Cary. But awareness is the first step. Becoming conscious of it and catching yourself when it happens offers a different path to choose. You got this!

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Just so you know, I could almost have written that, Sabrina! Well, almost. (Not quite) You are brilliant! I am bowing down to you 😊

"I’m often late to activities because I find it hard to switch tasks when I’m in the flow."

Just ask my husband... 😜

My biggest takeaway revolved around self-sabotage being the brains way to self-protect. It makes perfect sense. Thank you

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Wow Donna thanks so much for your kind words and thoughts. 💜

Agree self-sabotage is a protective mechanism, plus our fear of letting go of who we think we are.

Shedding an old identity to create a new one needs a form of grief.

Then we can release and move on with a healthier version of ourselves.

I'm curious to explore that idea further.

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Yes, please explore!

"Shedding an old identity to create a new one needs a form of grief."

I never considered that -- grief as a solution or byproduct or necessity of releasing and becoming.

Releasing is hard. Holding on feels like it's glued to our DNA.

Holding onto crap I'll never need, or weight. That's big.

Do we gain back lost weight because we didn't grieve?

Go explore more, please. Our mind is tricky!

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I know chronic stress makes us hold on to weight, especially visceral fat. Our body goes into threat and starvation mode so holds on to its resources for dear life.

Grief is incredibly stressful, but uses brain energy to rewire circuits now the thing/person we’re grieving is gone.

It’s a physiological process, as well as emotional. The two are closely connected.

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Okay, I understand the cortisol effect that chronic stress triggers, which is almost elegant.

Our body doesn't know we're not being stalked by a sabor tooth tig.er, so it adds fat around the core to protect our organs because it thinks we are in perpetual danger.

Now, you're opening another door, Sabrina! I never put grief in the stress category, and that it "uses brain energy to rewire circuits" now that the entity is gone.

Please explore that in a post. You get the three magic words:

Tell me more!

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Aah thanks for the questions and insights Donna.

Got me thinking too!

I’ve got an article in my head bringing in the neuroscience of grief. More research interest in this place.

My latest writings have been more personal and how art helped, but the neuro nerd in me wants to scratch that itch!

On the list!

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Yay! Your brilliance shines through your writing. Please scratch the nerdy itch and move that up on the to-write list.

Coming from a large family and having 157 cousins (the last time I counted), funerals are more prevalent than holidays.

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Amazing read, Sabrina, thank you! I added the book to my Amazon wishlist. I'm always down to explore ways I self-sabotage. Much to ponder and digest in your article.

As you know, I find it difficult to do nothing. But it wasn't the case before. My nature is more towards chilling and doing nothing, but since i started being an entrepreneur, and reading stuff about productivity and listening to podcasts about self-betterment, it's created a pressure. Im trying to find a balance. So lately I wanted to rest, but couldn't. That was uncomfortable, there was resistance. So, I put the series on, and went on my phone and did some kinda work. When I felt good enough about it, I switch entirely to just watching TV. That's the balance I found for now. It's also easier depending on the rest activity and setting: during my cabin holiday, I could access my chill, relaxed self much easier. I guess that's why we go on holidays and retreats.

Great read, thank you!

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This really resonates Issa - I've also found myself struggling to switch off as easily since leaning into the entrepreneur side of things. And The more you learn, the more curious you get etc.

I'm looking to explore this further in my writing as it's a trait I see in business owners and leaders that makes us more susceptible to burnout.

Always keen to get your perspective on it. Perhaps we need to build in more off the grid breaks to ease up on the pull to work and be productive!

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Absolutely. The "grind" sneaks up on you and it becomes second nature. Yet, our first nature (all humans, I believe) is to chill. We're animals, after all.

Off the grid definitely help. When you can't get to change your behavior, seek a supportive environment. Perhaps you and I should facilitate an off-the-grid retreat for hustlers and double-duty people like us (double duty = 9-5 + side hustle)!

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I would be up for that! I very nearly became a yoga teacher years ago but other stuff got in the way. I miss being really into the practice.

Double duty it is! Need to pace ourselves as it gets hard! We're deffo not the only ones

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Sabrina, your post is so relatable! I'm the master of self-sabotage, especially when it comes to rest. It's like my brain has a built-in alarm that goes off the second I start to relax. Your insights about fear of failure and the imposter syndrome really hit home. I'm a high-achiever, but deep down, I'm terrified of being "found out." Thanks for reminding me that I'm not alone in this struggle.

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Thanks for sharing so openly Alexander. This is such a common theme I see in high achievers.

We are so driven and motivated by this fear of failure or being found out. I'm exploring imposter syndrome more over the next few weeks as it is a bizarre one. Usually affects the people you'd think wouldn't have those concerns!

Keep challenging the discomfort and giving yourself permission to relax.

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Great post. I’ve got the book you mentioned queued up on Libby.

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ooh let me know what you think

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Yes, this resonates so much!! Thanks for sharing Sabrina!!

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Thanks for reading! Which part did you connect with the most?

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This was fantastic Sabrina. I related to this in so many ways that I cannot write them all. A lot of traits you mentioned, like type A, financial services background etc. Am still processing this but wanted to give you the feedback that it really hit home for me

Keep writing

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Thanks Tariq for sharing - glad it resonated with you. It's a common issue unfortunately so one for us to unpack together 🙌

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I've heard that the more difficult you find the task, the more you need to do it.

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Good point Michelle - resistance seems to go deeper and can surface those underlying fears we have that get in the way or a shift to our identity. Agree those are the things that need to get done.

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Switching off is such a struggle! Thank you for this! ❤️

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Yes Beth, even though it makes sense, can be hard to shift gears! Glad you liked it x

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