I LOVE naming your inner critic an old-fashioned awful name that reminds you of someone super toxic. I read today we have 86 billion brain cells but lose about 50 K a day in our 50s. Yikes!
I'll call my Inner Bitch Critic Debbie, after a toxic friend who once pushed me over and repeatedly ran over me on her pushbike so I had tyre marks and bruises on the backs of my legs.
I need to tell Debbie to shut the fuck up. Debbie is using up too many of my precious 85 billion brain cells left - as I'm nearly 59! I can't waste any more on that crap, I need 'em all to become a bestselling author.
So, even though I am addicted to whining, I realise no one wants to hear it, not even me. It makes me sound petty, silly, brainless, hopeless, and helpless. And it doesn't help that I have had H-cup breasts for the last 47 years. The big boobs already mean most men talk to my chest and see me as stupid, with or without the non-stop complaining. Though pushing 60 means gravity has done incredible work. Now men under 45 only tend to glance at said breasts occasionally, as there are far perkier ones around everywhere except in old people's homes.
Time for action, and cold-turkey whining like a rusty old engine about politics, religion, society, wars, climate, politics, sex, and (see above text) my own body.
Kill Debbie? No, she's a real, divorced woman, bottle blonde with three kids, who used to work at a bank, retrenched in the big switch to ATMs last I heard.
I CAN kill my Debbie The Bitch Thoughts though. Each time I start whining like a mosquito near my ear I will remember her running me over in the fresh blue metal gravel on the road outside my driveway when I was 8. That should kill off any old narrative that no longer serves. And if that road accident stops working, I'll recall all the times the real Debbie coerced me into doing awkward sexual stuff that made me squirm. Ick!
Fuck off Debbie, you made Trump seem benevolent! Oops! That's a whine!
Rewriting, I forgive you Debbie; I am smart, I write well, and my future is as an author using all my billions of brain cells on better stuff.
Sabrina, I felt every word of your description of those sleepless nights spent battling imaginary conflicts! It's like our minds have a perverse talent for conjuring up the worst-case scenarios and forcing us to live them out in agonizing detail. I've often wondered why we're so willing to put ourselves through that mental wringer, only to wake up exhausted and no closer to a resolution. Your article was like a comforting validation that I'm not alone in this struggle.
Alexander, you are definitely not alone with this. We do it so automatically and most people don't talk about it so it feels like it's only us. Sending hugs your way.
I've found physical self-soothing actions help with the mental wrangling - I tried green noise sleep audio and it really helped calm me down. Have you tried that or other techniques?
Thank you for sharing this. I am actually going through this morning with the old script I didn't even know was there.
It seems like I have a day of the inner critic and then take other time to try and rewrite that script. I find it tedious because it is the same old stuff. It seems like it waits until I am unsure and then out it throws the script.
You are right that it does need rewriting. Plus it also gets other people's voices out of my head when I do the rewrite.
Great observations here Linda. I know it's tedious at times but keep at it. You're right it seems to creep in when you're doubtful of things. In a way, it's trying to give you certainty but an unhelpful form of that.
It'll get easier with repetition and remember to celebrate your wins as you rewrite!
Thank you for sharing this important information with everyone I’m proud to have lived 72 years and now able to have learned from all my past experiences childhood trauma physical pain and life saving surgeries to being grateful for everything becoming the person I’m today
Sabrina, my dearest like-minded soul sister, you nailed it in the post. It is brilliant and I kept thinking, is she reading my mind again!?!
I replayed past actions until they burned holes in my soul, so I decided to rewrite the script by getting it out of my head and putting pen to it.
Well, keyboarding it anyway! I keep sighing with relief. Aaahhh 🤪
I LOVE naming your inner critic an old-fashioned awful name that reminds you of someone super toxic. I read today we have 86 billion brain cells but lose about 50 K a day in our 50s. Yikes!
I'll call my Inner Bitch Critic Debbie, after a toxic friend who once pushed me over and repeatedly ran over me on her pushbike so I had tyre marks and bruises on the backs of my legs.
I need to tell Debbie to shut the fuck up. Debbie is using up too many of my precious 85 billion brain cells left - as I'm nearly 59! I can't waste any more on that crap, I need 'em all to become a bestselling author.
So, even though I am addicted to whining, I realise no one wants to hear it, not even me. It makes me sound petty, silly, brainless, hopeless, and helpless. And it doesn't help that I have had H-cup breasts for the last 47 years. The big boobs already mean most men talk to my chest and see me as stupid, with or without the non-stop complaining. Though pushing 60 means gravity has done incredible work. Now men under 45 only tend to glance at said breasts occasionally, as there are far perkier ones around everywhere except in old people's homes.
Time for action, and cold-turkey whining like a rusty old engine about politics, religion, society, wars, climate, politics, sex, and (see above text) my own body.
Kill Debbie? No, she's a real, divorced woman, bottle blonde with three kids, who used to work at a bank, retrenched in the big switch to ATMs last I heard.
I CAN kill my Debbie The Bitch Thoughts though. Each time I start whining like a mosquito near my ear I will remember her running me over in the fresh blue metal gravel on the road outside my driveway when I was 8. That should kill off any old narrative that no longer serves. And if that road accident stops working, I'll recall all the times the real Debbie coerced me into doing awkward sexual stuff that made me squirm. Ick!
Fuck off Debbie, you made Trump seem benevolent! Oops! That's a whine!
Rewriting, I forgive you Debbie; I am smart, I write well, and my future is as an author using all my billions of brain cells on better stuff.
Of course, I bloody well can. What's stopping me.
There is something about a classic name for the inner critic. Like when I name my foxes. It adds a bit of fun and shifts things slightly.
Debbie sounds like a tough lady!
She's been through a lot and sounds like she's ready to tackle anything - maybe overzealous in her approach!
Forgiveness sounds calming - might not be easy but remember you don't have to take her advice.
A thanks but no thanks works too lady T 💜💜
Sabrina, I felt every word of your description of those sleepless nights spent battling imaginary conflicts! It's like our minds have a perverse talent for conjuring up the worst-case scenarios and forcing us to live them out in agonizing detail. I've often wondered why we're so willing to put ourselves through that mental wringer, only to wake up exhausted and no closer to a resolution. Your article was like a comforting validation that I'm not alone in this struggle.
Alexander, you are definitely not alone with this. We do it so automatically and most people don't talk about it so it feels like it's only us. Sending hugs your way.
I've found physical self-soothing actions help with the mental wrangling - I tried green noise sleep audio and it really helped calm me down. Have you tried that or other techniques?
I’ve never tried green noise! I’ll give that a go sometime, sounds interesting! Thank you for the suggestion 🩵
Let me know how it goes for you. I'm not sure if it was a fluke for me or not!
Thank you for sharing this. I am actually going through this morning with the old script I didn't even know was there.
It seems like I have a day of the inner critic and then take other time to try and rewrite that script. I find it tedious because it is the same old stuff. It seems like it waits until I am unsure and then out it throws the script.
You are right that it does need rewriting. Plus it also gets other people's voices out of my head when I do the rewrite.
Great observations here Linda. I know it's tedious at times but keep at it. You're right it seems to creep in when you're doubtful of things. In a way, it's trying to give you certainty but an unhelpful form of that.
It'll get easier with repetition and remember to celebrate your wins as you rewrite!
Thank you for sharing this important information with everyone I’m proud to have lived 72 years and now able to have learned from all my past experiences childhood trauma physical pain and life saving surgeries to being grateful for everything becoming the person I’m today
Appreciate your sharing this Elizabeth.
You're proof we don't have to let the past hold us back to who we want to be now and in the future. Love this!