Yeah... This has just reminded me of the way I spent years travelling the world and soaking up and seeking out as much external adventure as possible and thought I'd filled the inner void, and then when it all came crashing down realised that I hadn't actually dealt with any of the stuff I'd been inadvertently running away from, instead …
Yeah... This has just reminded me of the way I spent years travelling the world and soaking up and seeking out as much external adventure as possible and thought I'd filled the inner void, and then when it all came crashing down realised that I hadn't actually dealt with any of the stuff I'd been inadvertently running away from, instead I'd just dragged it around with me in an invisible suitcase.
That wasn't fun to unpack these past few years on top of everything else. It's funny how it's also like an onion - there are always more layers to unpeel and uncover. I wonder if this kind of anticipatory grief that comes with things like Alzheimer's adds another thing to the mix, too, because you're grieving what was and then also grieving all the other things going wrong along the way. It's so frigging hard.
But it's also the cost of love, I guess. Closing myself off from the world and all the emotions of everything doesn't feel like it would be a good solution either.
Anyway! What a rollercoaster ride this life is! Sending you lots of love, too xx
Yeah... This has just reminded me of the way I spent years travelling the world and soaking up and seeking out as much external adventure as possible and thought I'd filled the inner void, and then when it all came crashing down realised that I hadn't actually dealt with any of the stuff I'd been inadvertently running away from, instead I'd just dragged it around with me in an invisible suitcase.
That wasn't fun to unpack these past few years on top of everything else. It's funny how it's also like an onion - there are always more layers to unpeel and uncover. I wonder if this kind of anticipatory grief that comes with things like Alzheimer's adds another thing to the mix, too, because you're grieving what was and then also grieving all the other things going wrong along the way. It's so frigging hard.
But it's also the cost of love, I guess. Closing myself off from the world and all the emotions of everything doesn't feel like it would be a good solution either.
Anyway! What a rollercoaster ride this life is! Sending you lots of love, too xx