Great posts Sabs. Yes the body and brain will find so many ways to communicate 'YOU' matter. I always used to view my ability to compartmentalise as a powerful friend but it was masquerading as a highly effective avoidance foe.
Gosh, I appreciate this. I've been feeling really burned out recently despite making some huge changes - like taking a big step back from work - but although I know I'm still in the depths of grief I hadn't really put 2+2 together. I, too, am a pro at compartmentalising, but it's funny how those personal vs. professional lines all bleed into each other. The work "break" has just caused a lot of those other personal issues to come up and hit me like a sack of bricks, instead.
Gosh, this being human thing isn't easy, hey?! Thanks for being a lighthouse and sharing your own stories and breakthroughs, though. I know our journeys aren't the same but your words always help me look at mine from a different perspective and for that I'm very grateful! Xx
That's what happened to me too Cassie. Stopping the professional busyness made me notice the personal avoidance that I thought I'd dealt with. Sneaky!
I think when we compartmentalise, we delay the inevitable until we're ready to handle or explore it.
Let yourself grieve however you need to. I believe it takes longer than we ever realise and our brains take time to adapt when we're dealing with so much already.
Yeah... This has just reminded me of the way I spent years travelling the world and soaking up and seeking out as much external adventure as possible and thought I'd filled the inner void, and then when it all came crashing down realised that I hadn't actually dealt with any of the stuff I'd been inadvertently running away from, instead I'd just dragged it around with me in an invisible suitcase.
That wasn't fun to unpack these past few years on top of everything else. It's funny how it's also like an onion - there are always more layers to unpeel and uncover. I wonder if this kind of anticipatory grief that comes with things like Alzheimer's adds another thing to the mix, too, because you're grieving what was and then also grieving all the other things going wrong along the way. It's so frigging hard.
But it's also the cost of love, I guess. Closing myself off from the world and all the emotions of everything doesn't feel like it would be a good solution either.
Anyway! What a rollercoaster ride this life is! Sending you lots of love, too xx
As a recovering workaholic, your post deeply resonates with me. Despite being well into my recovery, there remains those underlying temptations to give in to the pressure of compromising my own boundaries. I still invest myself deeply into my work, maintain an overly ambitious pace, and pull myself back from the edge of burnout from time to time.
What really grabbed me is how you've characterized burnout as "grief in disguise" of "losing anything that anchors us, like identity, purpose, trust, stability, or even the dreams we’ve worked hard to build."
That describes much of what I felt throughout 2024 with precise clarity. It was a bumpy and exhausting experience that I'm just beginning to feel myself pull out of with heading into a fresh new year.
Thank you for such an honest and engaging post about your own experience and I'm grateful for the feeling of not having gone it alone. Best to you in the new year!
I so appreciate your comments and thoughts on this Wesley. Am glad it made sense of your experiences too.
The recovery journey has it's ups and downs as we try to reprogram years of coping strategies. I'm so glad you're starting to see the light at the other side.
Keep going and be kind to yourself. Rooting for you!
"Grief isn’t only about losing someone we love though. It’s about losing anything that anchors us, like identity, purpose, trust, stability, or even the dreams we’ve worked hard to build."
This is a profound insight Sabrina and really speaks to me. In periods if change or reinvention, we're always losing something in order to move ahead.
Your post reminds me to recognise this and be kind and easy with myself. And to maintain all the daily routines that keep me aligned with the deeper values that anchor and define me. For me, that includes meditation, yoga, walking, fresh food, regular meals and sleep. And a good laugh with family and friends!
Thank you for your wise words. I wish you a new year where you stay anchored to what lights you up and nourishes you.
I'm so glad that resonated with you Jeanette. We skip past it so much in daily life but the more I explore, the more I realise how we're having to update our perceptions and actions to keep moving forward.
I love your daily list to stay well and healthy.
Many crossover with mine and I want to reintroduce activities that have dropped off over time.
I never thought about burnout as being a form of grief, but it makes so much sense. When we experience loss, it can be difficult to cope, and we may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as overworking. I think it's important to allow ourselves to grieve and heal from loss, in whatever way we need to.
Great posts Sabs. Yes the body and brain will find so many ways to communicate 'YOU' matter. I always used to view my ability to compartmentalise as a powerful friend but it was masquerading as a highly effective avoidance foe.
Thanks Lou, such a great way to put it.
Recognising when our coping strategies no longer serve us is the key to making better choices for a different life.
Gosh, I appreciate this. I've been feeling really burned out recently despite making some huge changes - like taking a big step back from work - but although I know I'm still in the depths of grief I hadn't really put 2+2 together. I, too, am a pro at compartmentalising, but it's funny how those personal vs. professional lines all bleed into each other. The work "break" has just caused a lot of those other personal issues to come up and hit me like a sack of bricks, instead.
Gosh, this being human thing isn't easy, hey?! Thanks for being a lighthouse and sharing your own stories and breakthroughs, though. I know our journeys aren't the same but your words always help me look at mine from a different perspective and for that I'm very grateful! Xx
That's what happened to me too Cassie. Stopping the professional busyness made me notice the personal avoidance that I thought I'd dealt with. Sneaky!
I think when we compartmentalise, we delay the inevitable until we're ready to handle or explore it.
Let yourself grieve however you need to. I believe it takes longer than we ever realise and our brains take time to adapt when we're dealing with so much already.
Look after yourself my lovely xx
Yeah... This has just reminded me of the way I spent years travelling the world and soaking up and seeking out as much external adventure as possible and thought I'd filled the inner void, and then when it all came crashing down realised that I hadn't actually dealt with any of the stuff I'd been inadvertently running away from, instead I'd just dragged it around with me in an invisible suitcase.
That wasn't fun to unpack these past few years on top of everything else. It's funny how it's also like an onion - there are always more layers to unpeel and uncover. I wonder if this kind of anticipatory grief that comes with things like Alzheimer's adds another thing to the mix, too, because you're grieving what was and then also grieving all the other things going wrong along the way. It's so frigging hard.
But it's also the cost of love, I guess. Closing myself off from the world and all the emotions of everything doesn't feel like it would be a good solution either.
Anyway! What a rollercoaster ride this life is! Sending you lots of love, too xx
As a recovering workaholic, your post deeply resonates with me. Despite being well into my recovery, there remains those underlying temptations to give in to the pressure of compromising my own boundaries. I still invest myself deeply into my work, maintain an overly ambitious pace, and pull myself back from the edge of burnout from time to time.
What really grabbed me is how you've characterized burnout as "grief in disguise" of "losing anything that anchors us, like identity, purpose, trust, stability, or even the dreams we’ve worked hard to build."
That describes much of what I felt throughout 2024 with precise clarity. It was a bumpy and exhausting experience that I'm just beginning to feel myself pull out of with heading into a fresh new year.
Thank you for such an honest and engaging post about your own experience and I'm grateful for the feeling of not having gone it alone. Best to you in the new year!
I so appreciate your comments and thoughts on this Wesley. Am glad it made sense of your experiences too.
The recovery journey has it's ups and downs as we try to reprogram years of coping strategies. I'm so glad you're starting to see the light at the other side.
Keep going and be kind to yourself. Rooting for you!
"Grief isn’t only about losing someone we love though. It’s about losing anything that anchors us, like identity, purpose, trust, stability, or even the dreams we’ve worked hard to build."
This is a profound insight Sabrina and really speaks to me. In periods if change or reinvention, we're always losing something in order to move ahead.
Your post reminds me to recognise this and be kind and easy with myself. And to maintain all the daily routines that keep me aligned with the deeper values that anchor and define me. For me, that includes meditation, yoga, walking, fresh food, regular meals and sleep. And a good laugh with family and friends!
Thank you for your wise words. I wish you a new year where you stay anchored to what lights you up and nourishes you.
I'm so glad that resonated with you Jeanette. We skip past it so much in daily life but the more I explore, the more I realise how we're having to update our perceptions and actions to keep moving forward.
I love your daily list to stay well and healthy.
Many crossover with mine and I want to reintroduce activities that have dropped off over time.
Here's to a fun and fulfilling 2025! 💜🚀
I never thought about burnout as being a form of grief, but it makes so much sense. When we experience loss, it can be difficult to cope, and we may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as overworking. I think it's important to allow ourselves to grieve and heal from loss, in whatever way we need to.
Thanks Alex for your thoughts.
Agree we need to give ourselves time to grieve and heal, and also recognise our coping mechanisms.
They start as a way to manage the stress or loss, which makes sense. It's catching the point when they stop being helpful we need to notice.